Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The post in which I write about some pretty rough months

I try to be a positive person. I think I was born a pessimist though by nature, but boy oh boys do I try to chant and talk myself out of the negativity.

I am now only 14 days away, well technically 13 days because today is nearly over from being finished with nursing school.

It's been a struggle with everything this last semester and a lot to balance all at one and so much responsibility to take on. There have been more than a few times where I have wanted to give up and throw in the towel, but then God would send me some freak sign that I was supposed to keep going.

A quote would come up in my day like this one:

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."
~ Unknown 

Or a patient I was caring for would grab my hand, look me in the eye and tell me, "You're a lot stronger than you look." People may think I'm crazy, but I felt the Lord talking to me through her when I needed that little nudge to keep on keepin' on.

These past 4 years have been a struggle, a pursuit, a dream and I'm only 13 days away from making it to the top of that gigantic mountain that took me years, blood, sweat, and tears to climb.

I thought my last semester was going to be a breeze, and it has by far been the most challenging past few months of my life. I feel like a mound was thrown on us at the end. One very difficult Critical Care Nursing class, an imperative huge standardized test to pass, 120 hours of Role Transition,  two other classes, and then work and the girls and regular life and responsibilities. A lot of other people put their lives outside nursing school on hold for this semester, but unfortunately I didn't have the option.

I have put in more doubles (16 hour days) than I'd like to admit to, hours studying, thousands of review questions, some tears here and there, and one hell of a drive to keep myself going. I really just hope that in a few weeks when I graduate that my girls will see it and know that when you try hard enough you can overcome anything and achieve. I want them to know that they are my driving force and that when I became their mother they gave me more strength than I thought I would ever be capable of.

I also cannot wait till graduation so we can engage in all our holiday traditions, I have more than 4 hours to sleep, and could possibly take a photograph and upload it to this blog for heaven sake!

Monday, November 7, 2011


I am still alive.

School is coming to a very busy close! 5 more weeks! It's really crazy to think about, but I don't have much time to even think about it because it has been so busy! I have two more exams and  72 more role transition hours to work (unpaid) at the hospital. (plus 2 more sociology exams, but that's nothing to worry about)

I did want to get down how much I'm in love with my 4 year old before I forget, or before she gets to me with her very strong willed personality that she must get from her father. Last night after bath and bedtime I heard my little girl in her bed chattering away which would normally follow a "Riley! Go to sleep!" but when I heard what she was doing I hestiated and told my husband not to go in there, becuase my sweet (some of the time) 4 year old was in her bed sounding out words and reading. Melt. My. Heart. I'm so proud of my little girl and am so excited about what all I know she is going to accomplish in her life.

Last week when I was cleaning her room and making her bed I found books under her pillow and it made me so proud. We must be doing something right.

Happy Monday!
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