"Riley, tell me what you're favorite part of the zoo was."

"The Komono Dragons. Wait no, actually, my favorite part was Gladys."

Writing

To write and write well, you just have to start writing. I have been away from this blog for awhile and I'm not sure why, because I have missed it a lot. I need a place in my life to document all the ridiculousness that I experience; like at the grocery when my child asks me in the deli section around a handful of people if I pooped her out or if they had to cut my belly open, or the ridiculousness at my work that I would love to share if I wasn't terrified of being sued over HIPPA because some of the experiences I have one cannot even make them up.

A very wise man, Ernest Hemingway, once said that to overcome writers block, "All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence you know."

I want to be a fabulous mother that fills her children's memories full of fun, smiles, laughter, and a slew of life experiences.

That's the truest sentence I know, and that's what I miss from not blogging the past few months. I of course have been finding ways to make our lives fun and having fun experiences with my family, but don't have one place to look back and read about the memories to remind me and to look at the photos that brings me back to that moment in time.


Tomorrow we plan on going to the zoo. One of my favorite places in our city. I plan to take 500 million pictures and capture the smiles of my girls next to blooming spring flowers and little wee zoo babies and post them here so I never forget and my girls never forget wonder days like that.

Plus somehow these kids have grown up on me and I just need to be paying closer attention to it all. 

Books

My kids and their books:

I love bookstores. It doesn't matter if it's a national chair or a mom and pop (those I do love more, though). I hope that there is a whole category of my girls' childhood memory that holds the hours we spend in bookstores. 

I had a short moment of envy when we were in this particular bookstore because I wanted to purchase every single children's book there for my kids library, but obviously do not have the means to do that.  Short after, I soon realized that my girls already  have a good portion of the books from our many "you can pick out one book to purchase" trips. I also thought about how beautiful these books on these shelves are with their nice clean covers and fresh spines that aren't yet worn, but there's something to be said about our books at home. They show that they have been held, read, played with, read again many of times and there is a beauty just as beautiful to the worn, tattered books in my girls library.

Random Thoughts

My brain works in a way that a psychiatrist might describe as a flight of ideas, but that's me. In case you're not familiar:

flight of ideas,

 (in psychiatry) a continuous stream of talk in which the patient switches rapidly from one topic to another and each subject is incoherent and unrelated to the preceding one or is stimulated by some environmental circumstance (source).

 I like getting all my thoughts out because there are always a million things running thought my mind.




First, I'm tired.I am not a night-shifter as a mother. Pre-baby days definitely, but now not so much. I'm not really sure what my resolve to this is, but I am getting less sleep I think than the days I had a newborn. I have tried ear plugs, black out shades, etc. and just cannot sleep during daytime hours.

I keep half joking and half serious say that I am going to write a book about my friends and I and our lives, because sometimes they are crazier than a reality TV show. I think it would be great if they gave me permission to write about the craziness in a book or on this blog, because I think it's too much to contain amongst ourselves.Our careers, the men in our lives, the ridiculous drama that seems to find us sometimes; it's pretty interesting stuff.

I have had a horrible case of the baby crazies (a strong urge to have another baby-after seeing other people's babies) lately.

My phone and computer are both starting to give out. I think between the kids and I, we  have dropped my laptop one too many times, and it takes 20 minutes to load a 30 second video and watch it and part of the screen is falling off.   My phone's touch screen has a mind of it's own and will just randomly take over and start to open things when it wants to without even touching it. If anyone knows anything about me they would know that these are vital to my existence, sadly enough, they are right up there with oxygen.It's how I schedule things, pay bills, communicate, and maintain my sanity.

Halloween is almost here and I love this holiday. Our family is dressing up as superheros and I am so excited to wear our costumes, even though I have to go into work after our trick or treating.  We haven't carved our pumpkins yet- but I think with the 80 degree weather around here tonight may just be a perfect night to do it. I will probably have to go out and buy some more candy because every year in an attempt to plan ahead we buy candy for trick or treaters and then we end up eating most of it before Halloween gets here...

Thanks readers for listening to my random thoughts of Thursday. Raigan thinks they are hilarious:

Fall Traditions

I think everyone that lives in an area of the country that offers crisp fall October days cannot deny that this season is for them. It has so much to offer and is full of fall traditions for my little family.We love fall church festivals, winning inflatable sharks, and taking naps snuggling them. When I came in to check on her at nap and she was legitimately snuggling this thing and sleeping; it cracked me up.

 I love that with each season there is a fresh start to things. A fresh new weather pattern to experience, new routines, new ways to spend our days and weekends, and the city never fails to deliver. There are always festivals, new restaurants to try, farms with pumpkin patches to visit, and even our favorite familiar places to revisit over and over.

I hope my children never outgrow loving to get their faces painted, and I don't think they will. That's our "go-to/ gotta make sure we hit up that booth" at every festival.

I think it's so important to ingrain certain things into my children's minds: the importance of our family, traditions, and enjoying the little things in life together.

A Fun Life

Once upon a time this summer I was in an airport on my way to Savannah, Georgia for one of my best friend's bachlorette weekends. Sometimes I feel like I'm making stories up because my life is really fun sometimes and I never thought I would get to fly to the south to hang with my friends. But I'm not making it up. It really happened.

 Our group of friends on  a haunted pub tour in Savannah, Ga.

So I'm in this airport and I go to get through security and they ask me if I'm 16. I giggle- and then realize that they are being serious. (I am assuming that there is a rule that if you are under 16 you have to be escorted to your flight?) Which makes me laugh even more and I proceed to show them my ID that I am not underage and my bag falls over on the security conveyer belt and out falls novelty things for a bachelorette party- I blush- and then out flops a copy of 50 Shades of Gray that I had intended to read on the plane.

 One of my besties and Bride to Be on Tybee Island.

I am eager as ever to show them that I'm actually 25 and make a point that they see my wedding rings in an attempt to convince them that I'm not some kind of weirdo. I soon come to realization that I am a weirdo and no longer care because I was pumped as every for a fun weekend with my friends.

I have been trying to read 50 Shades since that weekend.

 The "Lets see how awkward all of us can stand for a group beach picture" picture.

I never read it on the plane, because I can't start a book while I am in the middle of the other, and I was trying to finish the one that I was in the middle of, which I did. While we were on the beach though one of my friends swiped my copy and has had it until this weekend.

 

My family joining me in Savannah before we enjoyed a lovely week on HHI. 

Our family has had an end of the summer cold with fevers and ear aches and general malaise. I was not immune and spent most of the weekend sleeping, trying to recover, and reading. I finally got to read the book, and the feminist in my did not like it, but out of sheer boredom of being sick laying in bed I even read the second book, which got a little better.

Other than being sick this weekend-which killed our apple pickin' plans, we had our follow up with Raigan's pulmonologist. We spent far too much time in the office as a previous client had, as he put it, had a very interesting situation going on" I normally would pry for information on the medical drama, since I'm normally into that stuff, but I was too exhausted from being locked in a very small exam room with two little girls that did not want to sit still, were interested in touching and nearly breaking everything in the room, and when they weren't doing that they were fighting with one another.

I image this is a form of torture in some places of the world.

Dr. Pulmonologist and I collectively decided to take the very conservative route with my little's lungs, because they have been doing so well all summer and we'll keep a very close eye on things. 


The girls have had cheerleading and our big competition is coming up very soon here in a few weeks.This will be Raigan's first, and even though she is only 2 we're really excited about her getting to experience the fun of it to whatever the ability she can.

Kindergarten is quite the learning curve, and not even for Riley, for me. I had corresponded with her teacher more than once this week because this stuff is complicated. I just want to do my best to help her succeed because she is a very bright little girl and I think we finally got things squared away. We are well on our way to a successful school year, it's just so crazy to me that we are already heading into our 4th week of the school year. I'm always surprised though how fast time moves once you have children.

To Plan or Not to Plan

I really do enjoy writing, but sometimes there's just nothing in there to write about or there is so much in my brain that I need to get out, write down, or talk it out with a friend over coffee that I find it overwhelming and avoid it instead.

I think it's one of those times. We have a lot going on in our lives right now, mostly all good things, but a lot. Cheerleading and coaching is taking up the majority of our week, then there is Kindergarten and trying to find routines and consistency. On top of that is my work.

My writing here has nothing to do with these photographs, but I love them and I'm just trying to have things flow and inspire me. I think that's the easiest way to write is when you just start writing and don't worry if things connect or are in appropriate order. You just follow your thoughts and write them down and worry about the editing and rearranging later.

There are a few things on my mind lately that I think I should write about but sometimes just am not ready to. How appropriate that the one thing has been my confidence as of late. When I was a 17 year old, I was the most confident person. I thought the cliche was that in high school you're the least sure of yourself and the direction you want to take in life, but it wasn't true for me. I knew where I wanted to go to college, who my friends were, succeeded at my job as a student, and had a firm grasp on how my future was going to play out.

Today, in  my mid 20s and a mother to these two little blessings, I'm at a take it take by day basis, because I'm not really sure what direction tomorrow is headed and even when I make plans, the plans don't always go as planned. Perhaps I was really naive at 17 and thought when you work hard enough to go in a direction that journey to your goal will be a straight line. I have definitely found this to be untrue. I have been so unsure about a lot of things lately and am even unsure about needing a plan for the future or goals. My plan currently is, like I said, to take it day by day and to just enjoy the way things happen on their own. Maybe the best plan is to not even have a plan at all.

I have always been a planner though. I need to know what I'm working towards. It gives me drive. Now that I'm done with school, own a home, and have chosen a school for my girls,  and have settled into a very comfortable place there isn't anything immediate in need of future plans. But the weirdo planner that I am,  find that a little unsettling. But I'm working on it. I'm working on enjoying the fact that things are comfortable and the way that they are supposed to be. Perhaps, I just need to find a hobby.

My work is another thing I feel like I must plan. Last night when I was at work people were talking about in the future going back to school for their masters, changing jobs, moving to a different department eventually and I was asked what my plans were.

My thoughts were, " hmm, they asked me what my plans are at the only point in my life thus far where I don't possess a plan for anything."

And my response was, "I don't know, I plan to stay here in the ICU until I figure out what I want to be when I grow up."

Then a coworker said, "Well, I think an ICU nurse is a really good place to start." and from the tone of her voice, I heard, shut up- you should be very proud of being an ICU nurse and you don't need a plan to move anywhere else, because being here is already quite an accomplishment.I wish my constantly churning mind would get that memo. Another plan, since I need them is to convince myself of this.

When I see these pictures it is so crazy to me that my little baby with lots of dark brown hair has grown into this beautiful confident little girl. She is so strong willed, an excelling reader, and I'm excited to watch her grow everyday. Her and her funny little sister.

It's milk in this coffee cup, but sister does enjoy sneaking sips of my coffees.

Future plans:

1. Stop making plans and enjoy things the way they are.
2. Survive and even enjoy Kindergarten.
3. Go apple pickin'

the end.