Saturday, September 1, 2012

The Elite

Oh motherhood. There is quite a bit to say about this job that some of us have. I really think that God only chooses the strong and the elite for this position, and sometimes I wonder how I didn't get kicked our of the boot camp of motherhood long ago. It takes so much to be a mother and I think about putting it on my resume. It is the hardest job I have ever had and it has taught me the more skills and knowledge than any other even college.

Job: Motherhood

Hours worked: 24 hours a day/7 days a week=168 hours  a week. 

(128 hours more than your average work week. Some may argue that most of this time is spent sleeping, but this is untrue. You only get to sleep if your children allow you to sleep. That's a whole lot of overtime that I'm not seeing on a paycheck anywhere.)

Salary: Love, hugs, laughter, and $0. Actually the cost is probably in the red monetarily wise.

Skills required: Multitasking, patience, intuition, balance, organization, budgeting, accommodating, cooking, cleaning, driving a car all over God's green earth, strength, being able to function without sleep, good communication skills, works well with others, motivated, flexible, and on and on.

Tasks performed at job: too many for even the best To Do list to keep up with. 

They say (whomever they is) that by your second child you're an expert and have gained confidence as a mother to listen to your instincts and that you know what to do.

Today I did not know what to do, even though I have a second child and only had 1 of my 2 children with me, which should have given me an advantage.

We were at Target. (does anyone else feel like every one of their motherhood stories starts that way? "I was at Target when..." It's true for me) looking for uniform shorts for my little Kindergartener. She starts to ask for all kinds of things and I try to explain to her that we can only spend this much money here today. She does not get it and does not get the concept of money yet, even with multiple attempts to explain it on many occasions. Heck, money is a complicated thing that sometimes I don't even understand.

I should have prefaced this story with the fact that she was at a cheerleading party last night, spent the night with her cousins, stayed up late, had been up since 6am for school that morning, and had cheered a football game in the swamp like humid heat. Now that I'm typing this, I should have known better than to take my sleep deprived, overheated little 5 year old into Target on a Saturday afternoon in the first place. Tack that one up for a lesson  learned.

So here we are, standing in Target, her loosing her patience quickly for me not letting her get all that she wants and making her choose, and I loosing my patience for her getting aggravated and not choosing. She  finally choose to forgo the uniform shorts and just stick with the uniform she already has but can be hot at times. I was okay with that, because she could only wear the uniform shorts for a few more weeks anyway and wouldn't really have been the best investment. So we get to the checkout line with the things she choose and she starts screaming to go get the shorts too. Not just whining either, full out-everyone is looking because they think someone is being murdered scream. 

This is the part where my mother of 2 expertise and confidence should have come in, but it didn't. I just stood there like a deer in headlights and thought to myself, "what in the world is going on?"

She is hysterical from fatigue.

I'm frozen.

She is normally a passionate and very strong willed little girl (must get that from her dad), but she's never acted this crazy-in public at least. Well what do I do here? Should I try to explain money and a budget to a hysterical 5 year old again? No, it didn't get through even when she was level headed. Do I put everything back and walk out of the store and not buy her anything for acting the way she is? Do I just get this stuff and tell her she needs to apologize before getting it? I'm sure everyone can weigh in on it a little differently about the approach I should have taken. But instead of doing any of those things? You know what I did?

 I started to laugh.

I have this horrible character trait of laughing at inappropriate times, and it's uncontrollable.

I just check out with what we had, tried to hide that I continued to laugh, she continued to scream, and we made our way to the car. I told her she was in trouble for acting like that and that it was disrespectful. She screamed the whole car ride home. I made her take a nap, which is where she is now.


She even tucked herself and froggy in. 



I'm not sure if I'll return the stuff, or make her do chore to earn the stuff back, but I'll eventually come to a decision with confidence because I'm a mother of two. I'm sure we'll both learn something from this little fiasco. I think the moral of this story are a few things. One, motherhood is tough, however many children you have -1 or 19. Two, we cannot be supermom, do it all, and have all the answers all the time in all situations. And most importantly, three, do not take your sleep deprived 5 year old to Target.


And I'll leave you with another Target motherhood story. I was at Target when I started talking to this mom whom had children the same age as mine. We really hit it off and were talking about baby carriers when I realized that I'm wearing a neon green t-shirt that says "Here for the Beer" that I have no idea where it came from.. I'm sure this lady had judge me, a mom of two little girls with this shirt on and I frankly didn't blame her. I remember ever time not to wear that t shirt to the baby section of Target.

Also, kudos to all the mothers that work hard every day trying to be the best they can be for their kids.And when you think you aren't doing enough and that there is always more to do, stop beating yourself up and trying to be supermom. Instead, congratulate yourself for all the kick ass work that you're already doing and all that you do accomplish.


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