Saturday, July 31, 2010

Love

Last week we went to a wedding. It was actually the wedding of the bachlorette I went to Nashville with a few weeks ago for her bachlorette party that I talked about here.

I'm going to be honest. I'm Catholic, and although I have a strong faith, I'm not always religious. When I found out it was going to be a full mass, I was a little like ughhh. The full mass at my wedding went on for an hour and half, and the priest's homily was about people in nursing homes, but that's a whole different post...

When we got there though it went by super fast, and I felt as though the priest had written his homily directly for me, or God just knew that it was what I needed to be reminded of. Isn't God so good like that?

Father spoke about C. S. Lewis and The Four Loves: Storge, Phileo, Eros, and Agape.

That you need all four components of this complexity of love to make a good marriage.

Storge is the love of affection, not only physical, but all types of affection. Waking up next to the person you chose to spend  your life with. Calling your significant other in the middle of the day. Being partners and having respect for one another as you go through the sometimes challenging motions of life.

Phileo (Which is where the city of friendship: Philadelphia gets it's name) refers to the love of friendship.  A wise person (Elbert  Hubbard) once said, "A friend is knows all about you, and loves you just the same." I think that quote follows so closely with the vows you take as husband and wife, to love through the good times and the bad. I'm in love with that quote- it was at the top of my wedding invitations.

Eros is the passion and romantic aspect of love. This is the one I often fall short of. I think it's a cultural thing for us to put parenting above all else. That motherly guilt rears its ugly head, and I feel guiltily about going on a date with my husband and getting a baby sitter. But, another wise person once told me that a good marriage is the best gift you can give to your children. I have to often remind myself of this advice, and not necessarily put my husband first as some suggest, but to put everyone equal, because my girls often take the lead.

Agape is the non conditional love. I often think of agape as the love that God has for us. The love that they talk about in the first letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians. I strive, but often fall short, to love Hub like this.

I"m go grateful that father reminded me of these, because marriage truly is a work in progress. I'm so thankful for my loving husband.

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